Alright, moggy mates! So you’ve decided to share your humble abode with a furry, four-legged flatmate. Brilliant choice! But before your new feline friend slinks through the cat flap, let’s make sure your home is more cat-friendly than a tuna factory. Grab a cuppa, and let’s dive into the world of cat-proofing, Kiwi style!
Lounge Room Lookout: Creating a Kitty Paradise
Your lounge isn’t just for watching the All Blacks anymore. It’s now prime real estate for your cat’s shenanigans.
- Scratch That Itch • Invest in a sturdy scratching post. Your nan’s antique chaise longue will thank you. • Pro tip: Sprinkle some catnip on the post. It’s like a feline version of L&P – irresistible!
- High-Rise Living • Cats love heights more than a Wellingtonian loves complaining about the wind. Install some cat shelves or a cat tree. • Bonus: Great for keeping your cat off the kitchen bench during your pavlova-making sessions.
- Window Wonders • Set up a cosy window perch. It’s like Coronation Street for cats, but with more birds and fewer dramatic plotlines.
Kitchen Capers: Keeping Puss Out of the Pudding
The kitchen: where curious cats go to test their nine lives.
- Bench Press • Use double-sided tape on benchtops. Cats hate sticky paws more than we hate cold jandals on a winter morning.
- Bin There, Done That • Invest in a bin with a secure lid. Unless you want your cat re-enacting the great rubbish tip escapades of ’98.
- Hot Spot No-Nos • Cover stovetop knobs when not in use. No one wants a cat-astrophic flambé situation.
Bathroom Barricades: Waterproofing Your Washroom
Believe it or not, some cats think they’re part-time plumbers.
- Loo Roll Lockdown • Store toilet paper in a covered container. Unless you enjoy the ‘winter wonderland’ look year-round.
- Shower Curtain Shenanigans • Use a weighted or heavy-duty shower curtain. It’s not a cat toy, no matter how much your kitty insists.
- Sink Swimmers • Keep the plug in the sink. Some cats think it’s their personal drinking fountain. Cheeky buggers.
Bedroom Blockades: Sleep-Proofing Your Slumber
Because 3 am zoomies are only funny the first 47 times.
- Cord Control • Secure dangling blind cords. They’re not rock climbing ropes for adventurous moggies.
- Plant Patrol • Keep houseplants out of reach. Some are toxic to cats, and others just make great midnight snacks.
- Wardrobe Watchdogs • Close wardrobe doors. Unless you want your best merino jumper to become a cat bed.
Outdoor Oasis: Balcony and Garden Guardians
For those lucky enough to have outdoor space, let’s make it a feline-friendly fortress.
- Fence Me In • Check for gaps in fences. Cats are escape artists that would make Harry Houdini proud.
- Green Thumbs Up • Grow cat-friendly plants like catnip or cat grass. It’s like a salad bar for your furry mate.
- Water Feature Woes • Cover ponds or water features. Not all cats are natural swimmers, despite what they might think.
Tech-Savvy Tabbies: Gadget-Proofing for the Modern Moggy
Because cats and technology mix about as well as gumboots and black-tie events.
- Cord Corralling • Use cord protectors on electrical cables. They’re not spaghetti, no matter how much your cat insists.
- Keyboard Capers • Invest in a keyboard cover. Unless you want your cat sending emails to your boss at midnight.
- Screen Savers • Secure wobbly screens and TVs. Your cat’s parkour phase shouldn’t cost you a new telly.
The Great Escape: Entryway Enforcement
Because sometimes, the call of the Pūkeko is too strong to resist.
- Door Dasher Defense • Train family and visitors in the art of the ‘cat shuffle’. It’s like a weird dance move that keeps cats inside.
- Microchip Mania • Get your cat microchipped. It’s like a GPS for your furry explorer, but without the annoying ‘recalculating’ voice.
- ID Tag Triumph • Collar up with an ID tag. Think of it as your cat’s unofficial passport.
Remember, my fellow feline fanciers, cat-proofing isn’t a one-off job. It’s an ongoing process, much like trying to explain cricket to an American – it takes time, patience, and sometimes a bit of improvisation. But with these tips, your home will be safer than the All Blacks’ try line (most of the time, anyway).
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go fish my cat out of the laundry basket. Again. Happy cat-proofing, Kiwis!
